"the sorry syndrome" and why it drives me crazy

an online definition for the word sorry states
sor-ry
1. feeling or expressing sympathy, pity or regret
2. worthless or inferior; paltry
3. causing sorrow, grief, or misfortune; grievous

for awhile now i have noticed the over use of the word “sorry” at my work. instead of saying “excuse me”, “pardon me”, “ok”, “oh, let me get out of your way” or just plain ol’ keeping your mouth shut i hear “sorry” at least five times a day. and i will add that it comes from women. younger women.

examples-i will be walking into a room and another woman will be coming the other way and instead of saying excuse me she will say “sorry”. i will go up to a woman and tell them that the next time they run the report they will have to do it a different way and instead of saying ok they will say “sorry”.

there are times that i just want to yell “stop fucking apologizing, you didn’t hurt me. so please shut up”. but i don’t say that aloud. i’m sure that in some way it could get me written up. i have many times in the past asked the person to stop apologizing but that doesn’t seem to work. and at other times i want to shake the victim mind set out of them. but of course that wont work either. it would just keep them there in the mind set.

what’s up women?

well apparently what’s up is “The Sorry Syndrome”, suffering from the habit of apologizing all the time. i just now looked this up online and it confirmed my theory of why these women say “i’m sorry” ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

low self esteem, low self worth, the feeling that they are unworthy and i am. also i do believe that these women are or were in relationships where they are or were constantly apologizing to a disrespectful abusive ass hole of a man or woman. parent, sibling, caretaker, mate in order to keep the peace. the article states that “ritual or not, if you keep apologizing, it becomes a form of depression. when you accept blame, even though you are not at fault, it shows a weak character. by saying sorry, you give away your power, and this jeopardizes your image”

Do You Suffer from the Sorry Syndrome?

Here’s a quick way of finding out. Would you say sorry in the following situations? If yes, then it’s time to stop saying ‘sorry’.

• If you’ve not understood something. (what i would say-“what? i don’t get it”)

• If you brush against someone. - (“excuse me” now i have found myself saying “i’m sorry” if it’s to someone i don’t know and it was a “run into moment’” instead of a brush against someone moment)

• When you’re trying to settle an argument. (well this depends on what side i’m on. but never sorry)

• When you’re aware that you know better, but you would rather humour the opposite person. (that’s easy. i just say “ok” and give them a superior smile)

• When you are trying to be assertive about a situation. (please, i’m always assertive so no no sorry there)

• When you know you have done something because there was a need for it. (why would i apologize for that?)

• When you know you are better educated than someone you are talking to. (i would just talk to them on their level, i don’t apologize for my intelligence)

no i don’t think i would say sorry to any of these except for “running into someone”. actually i don’t think i say “i’m sorry” enough. that can be a problem in certain situations but i always feel that if i say sorry and not mean it , i have lost or given in to something. i guess it’s also because i never want to accept blame when i didn’t do it or cause the problem. i do take responsibility for my actions though and i have no problem owning up to my mistakes.

but i do over use “quotation” marks. we all have flaws.

so ladies if you suffer from THE SORRY SYNDROME please seek help and stop it. never apologize unless some major damage has been caused. don’t give away your power.