young at heart

3 days after turning 40 and the only change i can think of is remembering that i am mortal. and i really hate that. i enjoyed thinking that i was going to live forever. that death was a long way away. but ohhh not now.

my birthday dinner that i made my friend lori throw for me was nice. i have kept in touch with everyone at the party but not everyone at the party had kept in touch with each other. it was fun seeing that the dynamics between these people haven't changed in 20 years. 20 years ago when we were barely legal. i had thought about inviting everyone that i knew but that was too many. i'm waiting for 50 to do that. so i decided that it would be those that i was very very tight with for almost 2 decades. and it ended up not being that many. but it was enough for me to be proud of the fact that i had these friends. these are the people who have known me the longest, and still liked me. they know the crazy things i did in my 20's. hell, these were the people that i was doing those crazy things with and sometimes still do crazy things with. at one point lori had pulled out her pictures. and there we all were. not everyone there ran in the same circles, but since we went to school together we had party-ed with each other. a lot of us were thinner and some of the others had hair. we used to be able to drink for hours and now were conservative in our partake-ness of alcohol...well some of us anyway. so thanks to lori for hosting and everyone else that came. and it's the relationships that i have with these people that keeps me feeling young. and thanks to mike for smoking salmon on a rainy sunday just for me.