the itsy bitsy spider

the itsy bitsy spider just fucking bit me. and wasn’t so itsty bitsy at all. it was as big as the palm of my hand...well a good couple of inches. on saturday evening i went outside to push mow my side yard since all the scrap metal from the shed is gone, gone, gone. and i though hey at the same time i will move the concrete diverter? that diverts the water from the downspout a different way. so there i was, rocking it back and forth when all of a sudden a sharp hot piercing pain came from my top knuckle on my thumb. i think the little fucker even stayed attached cause when i shook my hand something slung off it.
at this point many things went through my mind. i was pissed, scared that i would have to go to the hospital (which i don’t want to do at all) and how this all fits into my way of thinking with animal totems. but mainly i was pissed. how dare this spider bite me.
i ran inside and soaked my thumb in alcohol, which took away the initial burn. then i started freaking out. my body had just been bitten and adrenaline had just been dumped into said body. was i having a reaction to the bite? or just over-saturated with adrenaline? the thumb started to swell and i knew i needed to go onto the internet to see what i could see. all in all i treated it like an insect bite and put ice on it.
and then i called brad. i needed someone to talk me down from my freaking out high. and it worked.
i was still pissed. i wanted to start mowing and i wasn’t about to let the little fucker defeat me. so i went out and mowed. all the while thinking what the hell was that all about? when i have encounters with creatures i believe that spirit is trying to tell me something but even now i haven’t figured it out. the next day my thumb was stiff and sore and a little red but today it just feels like i bruised it.
if you haven’t figured it out by now i have never been bit by a spider, or where i recognized it as a full out assault from the 8 legged creature. and i find it very confusing. bee stings? no problem. wasp? no problem. sweat bees? no problem but a spider? iiiii don’t get it. i feel personally attacked.

but i’ll live. and sometime in the future i will see what spirit is trying to tell me other than wear gloves. but you see i do wear gloves...usually.
and i will still remove the little fuckers from my house instead of killing them.