when i was young

the days

the days go by she lays alone
in solitude in a corner of the room
the howling wind like the stormy sea
soak through the cracks in the door
midnight came she heard no more


i found this poem the other day. i wrote this when i was in 4th or 5th grade.  as a 40 year old i find this poem and others from that time frame to be very melancholy. i did read a lot of poe, mythology and arthurian legends before and during high school. maybe that had something to do with my state of mind.   as a young child and into my early 20's i was not a happy camper.  i felt that i didn't fit in with my environment and that GOD had made a mistake in bringing me into this time period. (already with the metaphysical beliefs)  however, i do need to mention that i didn't have a bad family life.    i just didn't fit.   i remember when i was 6 or 7 i asked my parents what an identity crisis was, which i may add, didn't give me the answer i was looking for.  my mother asked jokingly "why? do you not know who you are?" duh of course not.    i remember playing it off as something i heard on the tv and let the issue drop.   i wasn't going to find out the answer from them.  it look me until college to find out those answers.

i'm sure some of you who know me wont find it odd that most of my poetry involves death or dying or human issues.  however, the ones who know me might find it odd that i wrote poetry since there are but a few who have ever read them. in 5th grade i won most honorable mention in a poetry contest that an organization in the county sponsored.  it was about sunrise's and not about death.  i was playing up to the masses. 

i haven't written anything in a long time.  i realize now that for me to write i need to be in a state of depression or really focused and passionate about something.   that's when i get the good stuff out. a catharsis if you will.

so i have decided to start putting some of my poetry on my blog. not so much for others to read but to let them go.

peace out