addendum to the hokey pokey philosophy

*The Hokey Pokey*
Shakespearean Style

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

thanks to my sister for passing this on to me.

oh the weather outside...

is FREAKIN' cold. it's raining today and if it freezes overnight, we here in the south are screwed. and contrary to popular belief, us southerners can drive in the snow. but you see we don't get just snow. snow always comes hand in hand with inches of ice. or just enough ice that it hides in the road and when a car, that just came off the blocks that weekend, drives over it grabs that car and makes it do unfamiliar things. cause the only thing we know about ice is iced tea and ice cold beer. and of course we know that we need to buy bags of it if we are having a party. but to know enough about it to walk on it or drive on it just ain't happening.

monday was my birthday. yeah me. the celebrations started on friday. lori took me out to lunch. we went to the GOLDEN EAGLE. it's a mongolian stir fry place. and i loved it. it's a picky eaters dream. however, lori got sick and said it was food poisiong. sorry lori but that's what comes from eating your veggies.

saturday i went to my best friend dave's house to hang out with him and his wife. had a great time. they got me a fold out star that light's up and a hot pink sari. i tried it on a few times and then hung it on my wall.

sunday just laid around the shack. brad and i got the errands done early and then both of us just relaxed.

on monday i got a massage. it was great and i have the bruises to prove it. brad and i ended the evening with a meal at demo's. paid for a gift certificate from david and the girls and the money that has come out of brad's pockets before or after i do the laundry.

tata for now chicklettes.

2008 thank goddess.
let's see. it's been 11 days and i have had my house refinanced, new gutters installed, a mammogram and a physical. i'm healthy by the way. even though i ate every sugar product in grabbing distance for the last 2 months, my sugar levels were great and my cholesterol was better than average. the doctor said that i must have good genes. "yes i do" i replied. i come from a loonnnng line of farmers who ate nothing but potatoes, corn and bread and of course some veggies and probably more pork than beef. thank goddess again. i love me some bread and potatoes. and by the looks of it-processed sugar. and this week i replaced the inner workings of my toilet with a little help from bf brad.

last week i attended the future planning commission meeting for rutherford county. i received a letter in the mail letting me know that there was going to be a meeting about a zoning change for my neighborhood and since i lived 500 of the change it was required by law to inform me. some body wanted to put in a "junk yard" on 16 acres of wooded land inside my neighborhood which is called on the map "LAZY ACRES". it was very important for us to attend this first meeting. 10 households showed up. which is a lot considering there are only around 35-40 house's. mr. junk yard man was the first to speak. he explained what he was wanting to do with the land. it was going to be a dismantling area for cars. a very nice modern facility. surrounded by a tall closed fence. working hours would be normal business hours and HUGE trucks would be bringing the cars in daily for dismantling. oh yeah i think they were going to crush them there too. several people lined up to talk against the change. it's a neighborhood where children play and people walk and both streets are a dead ends. guinea hens room from house to house not a lot of traffic and feels safe. NO MISTER JUNK YARD MAN. i was the last to talk cause after i sat down. mr. junk yard man got back up and said that he wasn't for it now and he withdrew his request. LAZY ACRES voice was heard saying OH BUT NO, PRINCESS, no one thinks that's a good idea. i would like to think that mr. junk yard man had no idea about the big picture, but after hearing the people who lived there talk realized that it wasn't a good thing.

until next time

the hokey pokey philosophy

new year's eve. i just finished smudging my house and updating the protection barriers for the coming year. i haven't cleaned the house like i would have wanted but this year i decided to let go and throw out STUFF that i have been keeping around the house for years. i re-arranged cabinets and drawers. and now the weather outside has turned windy. for me the wind is blowing out the old and bringing in the new. and as i sat down to burn sweet grass and talk to myself and the goddess about what i wanted to achieve in the coming year, i thought about the HOKEY POKEY. yes the HOKEY POKEY as in the children's song the HOKEY POKEY. i had decided that i wanted more magic in my life. when i was younger i loved 'magic' the unexplained, the mystical side of life. and the hokey pokey came to mind. don't know why, didn't ask why. i'm just listening to the "inner child"... yeah i know-new agey, but listen to me.

remember when as a child you were asked to stand in a circle and sing along...
"you put your right arm in, you take your right arm out, you put your right arm in and you shake it all about. you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. that's what it's all about!" the song is repeated with different body parts and then the song tells you to put your whole body in. and that's where it can get really crazy.

i remember
i loved the hokey pokey as a child and i love the hokey pokey now and i've decided to turn it into a philosophy. the circle equals a community, a togetherness, a common bond. the middle of the circle is life. the body parts that enter the circle are different aspects of ourselves. we are asked to enter life, but we choose to leave the
center. some leave for good and choose not to reenter and walk away thinking that's a stupid song. but some go back into the center and get that aspect of our life shaken all about. but we do the dance and we turn ourselves around in whatever form that takes. and that's what it's all about. life is a dance. right now mine might be the hokey pokey. who knows. in the coming year think about what's your dance of life.

see ya in the new year.

i'm still standing

d-day for layoff's at my place of employment have come and gone. the deed was done on monday, much to everyone's surprise. but i am still here.
it was a very sad day. there were 5 people laid off from my side of the building. 4 of the women i have known for 9 years. the other 1 i knew for 2 years. i saw and talked to these ladies more than i saw or talked to my friends and family. i heard about their children and their children's children. i knew the quirks and i could tell just by looking at them if they were in a bad mood. i will miss them very very much. i wish them well and am hoping that after the shock wears off that they will see this as a blessing and a push to do something better.

now i am one of the few left standing in accounting. i can only assume that i am still here based on my ability to adapt to change. personally i think it's because of my electric personality. whatever the reason i am lucky to have a job.

i just read where terry pratchett (my favorite author of all time) has been diagnosed with a rare form of early onset Alzheimer's. here's hoping that in between the drug company's hurried rush to produce drugs to give men erections and sustain them that they have been working on a drug to keep this disease at bay.

seems like old times

wow it feels like it's been forever since i wrote something.
so let's see if i can fill up some space.
it's december. and in december comes xmas. a poor month for me.
i had a girl xmas work party last friday. it was fun. i would like to take this time to say that I LOVE CHOCOLATE MARTINI'S. they are mmmm..mmmm good. the only drink where i lick the inside of the glass. tomorrow is the company party. that's were we get to dress up and have a nice sit down dinner. the band this year will be KEN SCAT SPRINGS. he and his band have been playin' our parties for years.

and during this busy and stressful month i believe that my company will go through a lay off. i hope i'm safe, i think i'm safe but....you never know. but it's all good. i am going with the belief that if i am suppose to be here then i will be. if the universe wants me to go out and do something else then maybe the upcoming week will be my last at this place.

i have gotten out of a summons for jury duty for the county that i used to live in. i have refinanced one of my home loans.

more in the upcoming weeks. here's to having a weekly income.

it's all about the shoes

around 8 years ago i bought these red shoes because i thought that they were coooolll. they have around a 5 inch heel and i've never worn them before. so since wednesday was halloween i decided that that was a perfect time to wear the shoes.
the 2nd pic is me at work at my desk. i came as "the devil u-know". you might not be able to see it but i am wearing one of the "hello my name is" stickers with "u-know" as the name. i thought it was pretty clever of me, especially since i got to wear the shoes but it was lost on a lot of people i work with.


i'd also like to tell everyone about my best friend david and his wife heather's new website store called roundaboutdancewear
check it out. i even make a guest appearance.

later taters

say hello to my little friend

meet sylas latham howard. he is my new nephew...or great nephew? i don't know but i do know that i am a great aunt.

1st pic-sy
2nd my nephew cliff & sy
3rd-the happy great granny(my mom) and sy

the gift of good writing

there are lots of things that excite me, and one of those things is finding an author who writes books that i want to devour. the last time i came across one of those authors (thanks goes out to my friend mike from man about murfreesboro for finding the book in the bargain bin at a chain bookstore and thought that i would like it) i fell in love. i fell in love with terry pratchett. he's british, he's funny and he is freakin brilliant. he is responsible for the DISC WORLD SERIES and so far NO ONE has even come close to the pedestal that i have him on. with that said a new author found it's way into my life last week. it seems that most of the ladies in my office has read her and even though she doesn't come close to terry pratchett she is on the ladder. her name is janet evanovich and she writes the STEPHANIE PLUM SERIES. they are crime novels and hilarious. her characters are well developed and the author understands cynical humor. i find myself laughing out loud as i read her books. when that happens i know that the author has found what it takes to turn me on.

luckily these authors always find me. i don't go out in search for them. i rarely go to a bookstore and buy books off the rack. i go to used book stores and our library here has a book sale every month. you can't beat a 50 cent book.

a small vacation

last week i went on a small vacation. a vacation where i had to drive. i don't really like to drive. on wed. drove down to lori's in georgia. the drive was pretty and below the mason dixon line. a plus. we then got ready to drive another 2ish hours to ashevelle nc. asheville is where my friend ida lives and works. she is the costume designer at UNCA and also teaches the make up class. lori taught a class on....well....severed fingers.



i never took any special effects make-up classes in college. it just wasn't my thing. and it's still not. but people who do take this classes really dig it. this class happened on thursday. also while in asheville lori and i went the the ASHEVILLE ARTS MUSEUM. we checked out the paper dress collection. it was a small collection and of course i couldn't touch them. i feel and learn through touch and museum's kind of frown on touching.

an top of all this i got to see ida. i know i look like an amazon in the pic but ida is a very small person.
i became friends with ida around 10 or so years ago. ida used to design the costumes at the NASHVILLE CHILDRENS THEATRE before it changed to Nashville Academy Theatre. somehow i got hooked up with a gig where i would go to NCT and be a stitcher for a couple of weeks. when i got there i met ida. ida is a tattooed, no-shoe wearing hippie. and we clicked immediatly. so after the first show-which was called "OPQRS" and was all orange, i then came back to help ida for the big shows year after year. that is until i got a real job and couldn't take that kind of time off. that and she moved back to n. carolina. needless to say, i miss ida and i'm glad i got to see her and spend time with her.
so lori and i had a good time in asheville. nice weather, nice scenary then started the drive back to georgia on thursday night.

friday was spent going to visit brenau college where lori works. saw her office and the campus and that night went to see a show for children. "THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES" the acting was great but the costumes were something a little less than complete. having been a stitcher for the theatre the costumes are something that i always look at. the dresses weren't hemmed and had strings hanging off the bottom. to me that's a big NO NO. if you are rushed for time the least you can do is serge the bottom. unfinished costumes are a reflection upon the designer.

saturday was the drive back to tennessee. got back before noon and was hoping to hang out with the bf brad. but that didn't happen. he was at a company installing...oh i don't know, something to do with a machine and didn't come home until after midnight sometime. oh well. at least he made money.

now what makes you think YOU are right?

yesterday started my 9th year at my place of employment. i have never stayed at a place longer than 4 years. what makes this job so different? i don't quite know. there are several reasons. i enjoy my job...most of the time. i pay bills for a living so it takes an organization that i can get into. it's problem solving, which i also enjoy. and my boss is always asking me to do something that really isn't my job but i don't always mind. when i first started there it was 5 minutes from my house. now it's 15 minutes away. i enjoy the people i work with and for. and the best reason of all is that i met brad there. 5 years ago we think. however, we didn't get togther until a little over 3 years ago. and i get to see him everyday.

i have never hidden the fact that i have an un-conventional belief system, but with that said my co-workers still can't get over some off the things i say. for the last couple of days we have been dealing with the 100's of boxes containing documents, financials and payables. when need to move the boxes to storage and shred what can be shreded. it can be an overwhelming task when you see the ocean of skids containing all this info. so i was getting ready to walk out the door with several of these woman when someone made a smart assed comment that i didn't catch and
"R" said "tracey can get a dorm room too".
"what are you talking about?' i said.
R reply's " "N" said that we were going to hell and we can all share dorm rooms"
me-"i'm not going to hell, i don't believe in it"

shocked silence
N says "what? well you might find out that you are wrong"
me-"and you might find out that your wrong"
i turn to leave and go find paper or something, and they apparently keep on talking about it. cause when we walk out together my boss (who wasn't around during the conversation) ask me what i said. i repeated again-"i can't go someplace that i don't believe in". and i changed the subject. it's nobody's business what i believe in and you can judge me all you want behind my back, but if you don't what me to become the bitch that i can be it's best not to question me on religion to my face. luckily everyone stopped talking about it.

as we all know i don't believe in the christian idea of hell or heaven. so i sometimes find it hard that others can't seem to let it go.
what makes you think YOU are right? how can you be an expert on the hereafter? did you go there and come back? oh i see god told you in a book and that makes it so. come on. the different sects of christians can't even agree on the bible itself. some preach only the old testament some the new. all this means is that you have a really big ego. i don't believe in hell or heaven because i have NO and i repeat NO idea what's going to happen to us after we die. no one does.

maybe next time when someone brings up me not believing in hell, i will tell them it's because i believe in reincarnation. that should be fun.

well would you look at the time

i took the day off today so i could have a four day weekend and when i started my coffee i thought to my self "maybe i'll post to my blog" and then another thought came to me "has it been a year yet?". and it has. a week ago last year i started the experiment of blogging. yeah me!!!!! whoo hooooo!!!. even though i haven't written everyday or every week i think i have written every month. i am proud of myself.

last night brad and i went to a preseason titan's game. his name was drawn at work for free tickets. luckily our employers are football and hockey fans and tickets are given away frequently. another bonus for us was a parking pass for lot A.

i would just like to say that i don't really care for football. i prefer hockey. i don't care for the crowds and the rush of everything. or the small and uncomfortable seats. in order to avoid the bad rush you need to arrive a couple of hours early before the game. and as the time ticks before the start of the game i play a little game inside my head. as i feel the tension and uneasyness growing from not knowing what is going on and being around that much energy and also not really getting into the football stadium scene i start to contemplate if this is what hell is like. ( i do this a lot and i don't believe in hell) the cyclical movement of waiting for hours for the game to start. not really being into it. feeling anxious and wishing that there was something else to do beside drinking. and just when kick off happens. boom. you are right back where you started. feeling anxious and out of your element. hell=repetition.

once the game starts i feel a little better. at least something is happening. and the titans won. at least they were winning when we left with 6 min left in the game. and i don't remember the guys name but #17 of the titans is a fast little fucker.

however, brad loves football and i hope he enjoyed himself.

one thing i do enjoy about sporting events is the national anthem. i feel a huge amount of pride when everyone stands to honor our flag. reguardless of how i feel about the people in charge of our great nation, when the "star spangled banner" is played there is a collective energy with a focus to celebrate the land that we live in. when i was growing up everyone put their hands on their hearts. i remember that if i didn't do that my mother would have hit me and reminded where my right hand should go. i have noticed that not everyone does that now. i think it's a little sad but that's just a reflection of a different generation.

i also sing along and i can honestly say that i have never made it through without crying, the lines that really get me are

"And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave"

here's to another year!

i don't know if i have ever mentioned that i don't believe in coincidences before. but i don't. for those out there who read "man about murfreesboro"s blog, the post that he wrote on 8/14/07 talks about his encounter with the sales person at a small computer store and this person's conspiracy theory on what he thinks really happened on 9/11/01.
well last night on the history channel there was a show about conspiracy theories for 9/11. along with those theories they would give you the expert's response. it was good. i don't know if i would have watched it last night if mike hadn't of wrote about it a week before. however, i learned that within the conspiracy world on 9/11 there are 2 factions.
the below descriptions are from wiki-not the best source but the easiest found

the LIHOP's ("let it happen on purpose") - this version suggests that key individuals within the government had at least some foreknowledge of the attacks and deliberately ignored them or even actively weakened America's defenses to ensure the hijacked flights were not intercepted.

and the MIHOP ("made it happen on purpose") - the strongest version suggests that key individuals within the government planned the attacks and collaborated with al-Qaeda in carrying them out. There is a range of opinion about how this might have been achieved.

both had good selling points but i'm not completely sold on the ideas. even though i believe that a demon spawn and his minions control the government and that the attacks were the excuse for starting a war, i can't in my heart believe that all these people would let america be attacked and thousands die to get what they wanted.

one man (i can't remember his name or his position in this dog fight) said that in order for these 2 main theories to be true, the government would have had to keep it a secret. so i feel that it's only a matter of time. secret's can't be kept forever. however, if the 2 main theories are true and people in the government let it or made 9/11 happen, may GOD have mercy on their souls because they will be cast into the 9th and last circle of HELL.
just had to throw in the dante reference.


and speaking of hell. it looks like we here in the south have gotten a break from the hellish heat. this weekend the heat broke and it rained both nights. at least at my house it rained. bringing down the temps to the 90's with the long overdue rain. my yard is straw. plants and bushes are dying. it got to a point that i was beginning to sacrifice plants. there was no way that i could water everything.

it's 2 damn hot

damn it's hot down here in the south. it's breaking over 100+ during the week and backing down to the comfortable high 90's during the weekend. i love the south, goddess knows i do but enough is enough.
this deep fried weather is proof why we here in the south are known to move at a snails pace.

the crazy winkler woman who killed her preacher husband because he made her wear stripper shoes has been let loose from the mental health facility she was put into after the jury found her guilty of manslaughter. she is now fighting for custody of her children who have been in the custody of her in-laws.

apparently pacman "thug" jones had an interview with bryant gumbel the other day. he mentions that even though he has been linked to 12 criminal incidents that he is no criminal. how many incidents does it take to be a criminal? sorry pacman-you are a thug and if i cared about football and was a fan of the tennessee titans i would make a pack never to watch football again until your sorry ass was kicked out of football forever. but alas i am not a fan. so my opinion or actions don't really matter.


and finally a salute to 2 senior ladies


"A would-be Murfreesboro thief got more than he bargained for Saturday evening when he hopped into a car with two of Tullahoma's toughest senior ladies.

According to police reports, a man tried to rob 68-year-old Ellen Holt and 78-year-old Inga Schultz in Rose's parking lot on Mercury Boulevard around 8 p.m. Saturday.

"The man got into the back seat and grabbed Ms. Schultz around the neck," Officer Tim Moghaddam reported. The suspect told the women he had a gun and demanded they give him their money.

But both ladies reportedly refused to give the man anything and started to slap him until he fled the vehicle."


go go grannies.

hello blog
well everything seems back to normal. lori is back home for now. she will be leaving in a few weeks to start her new job in georgia. i'm not happy to see her leave but at least she is staying below the mason dixon line.

brad has finally moved to the country. moving his renovated bus was an adventure by itself. it took 2 hours to go 30 miles. the bus is slow and then died at the first red light in woodbury. luckily it started and made it all the way to the top of the ridge. now he is living the luxurious life in the woods. with no electricity or water. but last week the port-a-potty showed up. it's all about what's important.

last monday i took a half a day off from work so i could read the last HARRY POTTER book. it took 11 hours to read with several breaks thrown in. i loved it. but i'm glad it's over. 9 years is a long time to invest in a story. i've never been one to try and guess what the author is thinking. i don't try to figure out who killed who or who did what. i would rather just ride. some thought i was crazy to use up my vacation time to read a book but i was afraid that i would find out the outcome from the media and i didn't want to take that chance.

finally saw LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. LOVED IT. it was very funny and very touching.

harry potter and the order of the commercials

there is a tradition that me and a friend of mine at work have. we always take off 1/2 day of work to go see the openings of the HARRY POTTER movies. it's something that our boss laughs at and everyone else expects us to do. this year was different. the movie opened on a wednesday. what's up with that. were all the theatre's closing because they were seeing no income during the week??? whatever. we decided that we didn't want to take off in the middle of the week so we decided on friday.

now i should mention that it was my friend sarah who got me hooked into the HARRY POTTER series. the books had started coming out when i started working at my current job. she loaned me the books and that was it. i was there with all the other HARRY POTTER fans. so when the mention of a movie came up, me and sarah found it important enough to use up half of a vacation day to go see the movie.

back to the movie. in the last several years i have really hated going to the movie theatre. too many people who have bad movie etiquette. i didn't take out a small loan to afford seeing this movie to have dumb ass people get up every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom or go get food. nor did i spend said small fortune to listen to you talk to your neighbor or explain to your child whats going on. one time the people behind me was explaining to someone the entire movie. i assumed this person was blind. now i am all for people with handicaps experiencing movies and normal life for that matter but not during a movie that i paid to see. it's rude. wait until the movie comes out on dvd and talk all you want-in your own home.

but back to the movie. now not only do we have to sit through an hour of previews we are now subjected to commercials that we can see at home on tv. i hate commercials to begin with, i always flip to another channel to avoid commercials. commercials don't make me buy their products. and some commercials are so annoying by their constant playing time that i even refuse to but their product.

but back to the movie again. the movie was good. i enjoy seeing the books come to life and i never expect them to be JUST like the book. and i've read the books so i know how it's going to end. it's fun to see harry, hermione, ron and the rest of the cast grow up. the HARRY POTTER movies are so rich in color and detailed in visuals it's hard to catch everything the 1st time. therefore i have no problem seeing the movie again and again. my favorite scene is the weasley rebellion. i thought that the director and production company did a fantastic job showing the rebellion of the weasley twins during the O.W.L.S.

so the previews were lengthy and the movie was good. the last book comes out next week. the end of a series and what a series it has been. j.k.rowling tapped into something that will live on for a very long time. she writes so well that children and adults alike can sink right into the story. a very rare talent.

don't have major plumbing done a day before you leave the country

in less than a week many things can happen. especially if the week has a full moon in it.

my bff lori has been in france for a month, her husband david and her two girls were flying over on thursday to join her for another 2 weeks. in those 2 weeks i am splitting the house sitting with henry and di. the day before david left he had a plumber come and install a sink in their master bath......

on thursday at work i kept going back and forth in my mind if i should go there on thursday or friday. back and forth, back and forth. i decided on thursday. i walked in, gave the cats some more food, went into the kitchen and heard a sound...ssssssssss. what the hell? i went into their bedroom and heard the sound coming from their bathroom. i opened up the door and was greeted with water spraying everywhere. it was coming from the sink. hmmm. well now, what to do. i need to cut off the water. i can do that cause i've had lot's of experience at my house with plumbing and cutting the water off at the street. then the issue raised of where might the tool be to do that. so i called henry and di's home phone. no dice. i found out later that a tree had fallen on the telephone line and it was out. so i called di. no answer. shit. i then was going to call lori in france but didn't have her #. so i had to call bf brad at work and have him go to my desk and give me the #. called lori but she couldn't help me cause the tool wasn't where it was suppose to be. of course not. my choice at that time was to call the utilites dept and have them cut it off. however, as soon as i hung up from lori, diane called. david and the girls haven't left yet and it was 5pm. they were suppose to leave at 9ish am. however, david told me where the tool was and i cut the water off. so after a lot of yelling with david and trying to find the tool and me getting wet, the water was shut off. after that di called back and told me to turn off the breaker to the water heater. ok. where's the fuse box? i should mention that david and lori may be the ONLY people who don't have a cordless phone so i was limited in my search. fuck it. i hung up with di and went to get me cell from my car and called di back. found the fuse box. found the breaker. done. put some towels down and left. i knew the problem was in good hands cause diane works for an insurance company and deals with house damage (well that's my best summary of her job). so she knows here stuff. diane showed up and henry came over with a dehumidifier and then proceeded to rip up the carpet in the bedroom. the damage had already started. luckily david and lori were going to get rid of the carpet anyway. and luckily i came on thursday and not friday. several more things went down at that house but i can't talk about those things. david and lori may read this and i don't want to give them more surprises.


so that was thursday. the next adventure is helping bf brad move out of his house.

when i was young

the days

the days go by she lays alone
in solitude in a corner of the room
the howling wind like the stormy sea
soak through the cracks in the door
midnight came she heard no more


i found this poem the other day. i wrote this when i was in 4th or 5th grade.  as a 40 year old i find this poem and others from that time frame to be very melancholy. i did read a lot of poe, mythology and arthurian legends before and during high school. maybe that had something to do with my state of mind.   as a young child and into my early 20's i was not a happy camper.  i felt that i didn't fit in with my environment and that GOD had made a mistake in bringing me into this time period. (already with the metaphysical beliefs)  however, i do need to mention that i didn't have a bad family life.    i just didn't fit.   i remember when i was 6 or 7 i asked my parents what an identity crisis was, which i may add, didn't give me the answer i was looking for.  my mother asked jokingly "why? do you not know who you are?" duh of course not.    i remember playing it off as something i heard on the tv and let the issue drop.   i wasn't going to find out the answer from them.  it look me until college to find out those answers.

i'm sure some of you who know me wont find it odd that most of my poetry involves death or dying or human issues.  however, the ones who know me might find it odd that i wrote poetry since there are but a few who have ever read them. in 5th grade i won most honorable mention in a poetry contest that an organization in the county sponsored.  it was about sunrise's and not about death.  i was playing up to the masses. 

i haven't written anything in a long time.  i realize now that for me to write i need to be in a state of depression or really focused and passionate about something.   that's when i get the good stuff out. a catharsis if you will.

so i have decided to start putting some of my poetry on my blog. not so much for others to read but to let them go.

peace out

what is that wet stuff?

something happened here in the south that hasn't happened in a long time. we have been waiting for it. we have been praying for it. we were beginning to wonder if we would ever see it again.

today a work, the clouds became dark and the air was heavy to breath, then the clouds opened up with rumbles and flashes and it began to RAIN. rain has become such a rarity down here in the barren south that when the wet stuff dropped people were outside watching it, the ones not on the outside were in front of the windows in wonder at it. usually that's what happens when there is a tornado or hail storm but not today. today as a collective were watching it rain.

simple rain.

what's in bloom

here are 2 flowers that are in bloom at my house right now.
these are primrose's. a friend of mine at work gave me these last year. since they didn't come up last year i thought that they had died out. but this year i saw them growing and thought that they might be weeds. cause i have a hard time remembering where i planted what. but i didn't pull them up because a little voice in my head said "stop" you planted something there.














********* these are nicatania's. these came from bf brad several years ago. this is the first year that i didn't have to start them from seed. they bloom all year long and smell wonderful.


well my bff has left for france for the summer. i know that she will have great time and i will miss her very much. our friend di set her up with a blog. "cathead a la boheme" and i've added the link to my favorites.