time for a new do

i've decided that it was time to get my hair cut....short.  it's been long for oh so many years.  but several months ago i felt that it was time to be rid of the hair and the emotions and baggage imbedded in it.  so it's 4:15 pm on friday and in 15 minutes it's "put up or shut up" time.  i have also been preparing people that the time is coming.  not so much to hear what they have to say but to soften the blow for me when they see it.   i keep looking in the mirror today and saying to myself that this is the last time you will see it like this.  it's time to leave....talk to ya later.

well, after almost busting into tears, the weight has come off my head. after the first cut, i was fine. i know that it's only hair and i know that it can grow back but having long hair for a long time and then cutting it short is like saying goodbye to an old friend.
after she started cutting i could feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. i kept sighing in relief and tina thought i was sighing because it was taking a long time. but the question is-do i like it? yes and no. yes it looks better and healthier and no not so much right now because my hair is in shock and it's taking a little bit longer to style. oh well, it's only day 2


onto saturday-
my sister and i drove to our family home in cleveland to attend our brother and sister-in-laws 25th anniversary surprise party. my nephew who works at the mall there had reserved the "community room" for the party and our brother and sister-in-law(myles & janie) thought they were coming to the mall for free family pictures that my nephew cliff had received from his work. cliff was the ring master of this party by the way- it was his idea and orchastration. cliff had told them that they couldn't come early because the photographer wasn't getting there until 6:30 and wouldn't be ready until 7.
everyone has known about the party for months. and after it was all said and done we were surprised that NO ONE had spilled the beans about the party. about 15 people on janie's side of the family was there, they came from west tennessee and had managed to keep it a secret.
getting them there wasn't that hard but myles couldn't understand how a good photographer could get set up in 30 minutes. myles had worked for a great photographer and knew that it look longer than that to set up. and also that they have a friend of the family that is a awesome photographer, and could get him anytime, so why waste time on pictures by someone else. janie kept wondering if she was dressed o'k. but they came on time and when the door was opened they in were shock. we all said surprise and happy anniversary but the first thing janie said was "well there's my momma and daddy" they couldn't quite put everything together. then janie got it and started crying like we all knew she would. now my brother on the other hand just stood there with his mouth open and was speechless, which doesn't happen a lot in my family, but he was speechless for about 5 minutes. he then started joking that everyone had known for months and everyone had lied to him. i reminded him that we didn't lie we just didn't tell him.

so the party was great. the night was filled with hugs, kisses, tears and happiness. and to myles and janie's joy-presents. at the end janie thanked everyone for coming and my brother cried his thanks. my brother has gone through a rough several years. waking up in the morning wondering if he had any friends left to stand by him. but god kept telling him to count the small blessings in his life. and last night was a confirmation of those small blessings.

when myles and janie first met it was in december. myles told her that she was the one he was going to marry. janie blew him off. they married that next march and have been together for 25 years.

thanks gerry

me and brad went to see "300" on thursday. if you are not familiar yet with this movie, it is a semi-historical tale of the battle of thermopylae in 480 b.c. based on the graphic novel by frank miller. frank miller also wrote "sin city", i saw "sin city" and have decided hands down that "300" was much better for many many reasons. the biggest reason was gerard butler. i've been a fan of gerry's (apparently he likes to be called gerry because he doesn't like the way americans pronounce his name) since he was in "attila" in a tv miniseries. he and his soldiers and their air brushed abs won me over, not to mention that the movie was great to look at. it was visual pleasing in so many many ways. yes i know i'm being redundant but you had to be there.
it was a "dick" and "chick" flick all rolled up into one movie. eye candy for the women and fighting to the death for the men.

last night i watched on the history channel the historical tale of the battle of thermopylae. it is thought that without this battle at the pass of thermopylae and the heroic deaths of king leonidas of sparta and his men, the infant idea of democracy would have been stamped out by the persians. it also gave the greeks more time to get there shit together and organize against the persians. this epic battle also helped glue together the city states of greece to become a nation. of course there were more that 300 men in this battle but it was the 300 spartans and king leonidas who led this battle and were the trained fighting force behind it.

and as a ending thought-movies are our cultures way of storytelling. if i wasn't a fan of gerard butler i wouldn't have gone to the theatre to see "300", without seeing this movie i probably wouldn't have watched the show on the history channel and without watching the show on the history channel would never have heard the story of the 300 spartans and the battle of thermopylae. thank you gerry for leading me to this information.

a death

as we all know by now, ANNA NICOLE SMITH has died. the news is everywhere. they say it's such a tragic death, dying 5 months after her son died and leaving behind a new born. but i don't find it to be a shock. based on what i always saw in the media she was headed on a downward spiral. news reports say that they didn't find any illegal drugs in the hotel room nor did they find any signs of pills or capsules in her stomach. but my theory is that she overdosed. i don't necessarily think she did it intentionally but she was on too many drugs and it finally caught up with her. i also believe that she was hooked up with the wrong person. howard k stern. like anna's family i believe that he was partly responsible for her death. and i could be led to believe that he was involved in her sons death. the news reports also say that the drugs they found were in his name. and i don't believe he is the father of anna's baby. i think even though he claims to have been in love with her, he was a gold digger and wanted to control her life for his benefit.

but why do i mention any of this? i've never been a big fan of anna nicole. i write this today because her death is no different from all the other countless women's deaths that happen across the country ever day. a pretty woman who sought attention from others to fill in the hole that was created in her heart. a pretty woman who got pregnant at a young age and wanted fame and fortune and had the body and the initiative to find it. and also a woman who put her trust in the wrong person, a controlling man who confused love with possession. a man who possibly helped her stay dependent on drugs. prescription or illegal, drugs are the same. it just comes down to what you can afford. but it happens all the time to women everywhere. and their deaths most of the time go without notice. and that's tragic.

anna nicole's death is more tragic only because we know who she was and had watched her life unfold. she became familiar to us so therefore we have more sympathy, even though the events that led to her death is nothing new but came with a different face. now we as the public will be looking for the stories that come from the baby. personally i hope the child inherits all of the billionaire's money, or a good percentage of it, also hoping that the child's father isn't howard k stern and the baby will grow up with love and affection and the unhealthy cycle that led to her mothers death broken.

and finally i bet the crazy astronaut woman was filled with glee that she was replaced on the front pages of the media by a bigger story.

young at heart

3 days after turning 40 and the only change i can think of is remembering that i am mortal. and i really hate that. i enjoyed thinking that i was going to live forever. that death was a long way away. but ohhh not now.

my birthday dinner that i made my friend lori throw for me was nice. i have kept in touch with everyone at the party but not everyone at the party had kept in touch with each other. it was fun seeing that the dynamics between these people haven't changed in 20 years. 20 years ago when we were barely legal. i had thought about inviting everyone that i knew but that was too many. i'm waiting for 50 to do that. so i decided that it would be those that i was very very tight with for almost 2 decades. and it ended up not being that many. but it was enough for me to be proud of the fact that i had these friends. these are the people who have known me the longest, and still liked me. they know the crazy things i did in my 20's. hell, these were the people that i was doing those crazy things with and sometimes still do crazy things with. at one point lori had pulled out her pictures. and there we all were. not everyone there ran in the same circles, but since we went to school together we had party-ed with each other. a lot of us were thinner and some of the others had hair. we used to be able to drink for hours and now were conservative in our partake-ness of alcohol...well some of us anyway. so thanks to lori for hosting and everyone else that came. and it's the relationships that i have with these people that keeps me feeling young. and thanks to mike for smoking salmon on a rainy sunday just for me.

the big 40

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeeee
happy birthday to me

i woke up this morning not aware that it was my birthday. but after awhile it came to me. and 2 things stood out as i got up to start my day. my coffee pot died halfway through it's brew. maybe the universe was telling me to stop drinking coffee or it was time to get a new one. i think i'm going with getting a new one. i don't drink that much coffee.

now onto the 2nd thing. pink floyd lyrics keep running through my head. i watched the "LORDS OF DOGTOWN" last night. i don't know why. i was never into the skateboarding craze. but since it was set in the '70's, songs from that time were playing in the background. it was at the end of the movie when one of the characters died that i heard it. "WISH YOU WERE HERE" and along with that song came one of the most meaningful lines..."we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year" i can't explain why that line touches me so, but it does. it's sad and beautiful at the same time. even though i'm not a pink floyd fan and i couldn't even begin to tell you song titles or the history of the band but there are a lot of pink floyd songs that touches me that other songs can't come close to.

so i started to retrace the history of pink floyd in my life. maybe it's because today is a milestone for me and i have started the morning off with retrospection.

when i was around 10 "THE WALL" came out and one of the only songs that got airplay was 'WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION" and as i write this i don't even know if this is the correct name of the song but you get what i'm talking about. anyway, that song had a power to me. i loved singing that song. while all of my other girlfriends were into other girly songs, i was always singing that song. it wasn't until i was in college and in my mid-20's that i finally saw the movie. but by that time "COMFORTABLE NUMB" was making it's mark on me. around that time i had fallen into a very deep depression. and that song put words to my emotions and thoughts.

"There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb."

i could have listened to that song constantly, i think it soothed me to know that someone else knew the feeling of hopeless and loss and that i wasn't alone. as a side note i also got into the "CARPENTERS" song "RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS"

luckily time went by and i had risen above the stagnant waters that my soul was bathing in. i had also decided that i would never go that low again. my spirit would never feel that "numbness". and over the years every time i heard that song, instead of feeling sad because it was associated with that sad time of my life, i felt comforted. i saw the beauty in it. maybe it's because it helped me embrace my dragon instead of slaying it.

change can be good.

went over to mike and dollie's yesterday. dollie was out of town so mike and i talked and did geeky things. like change the look of my page. if you didn't already guess i love peacocks. he also helped me change over to bloggers new template. to be honest it's all very confusing for me. but i woke up this morning excited about changing other things on my page but much to my dismay i can't change my settings. error, error, error. ok but what's the freakin' error? AARRGGG. i am hoping that it's my computer system. i guess i will find out on monday at work when i try it there.

a week from tomorrow i will be turning 40. one of the things that i have noticed is the older i get the less i give a shit about a lot of things. now if you know me, you may have thought that i have always been that way. i never set out to hurt peoples feelings, it just seemed to happen. maybe it was because the tone of my voice lacked tact. but oh well. i have been fortunate to have friends that saw past that and excepted me anyway. i attribute that to my charismatic personality.

here's an fyi for you- i heard mike tyson use the word "gregarious" in an interview the other day. he used it correctly. and i was shocked i tell you. mike tyson using words like gregarious is like bush showing compassion.

happy new year

the floors and clean. the clothes are washed. the car has a full tank
of gas. the trash has been taking out and it's 2007. it's become a
habit of mine to make sure things are clean and full and empty for the
new year. if you start out the year clean, full and empty of trash you
can be prepared for the rest of the year. i also smudged my house to
clean out the bad negative energy's and burned sweet grass to bring in
the good positive energy.

i started my celebration of the new year of saturday at my best friend
and his wife's. they had a new year eve eve party. it was a quiet
affair with lots of food and laughter and one of my favorite things...a
give away table. the only place that i have ever experienced a give
away table are around pagan's. it's fun and and great way to get rid
of things that you don't need anymore and pick up something that you
have been wanting or in most cases where what you have been needing.
on saturday i found a horse shoe. of all the things on the table to
choose from i kept coming back to the horse shoe. since i didn't know
who brought it i started asking around. and come to find out it was
brought by a man named jim who has horses and shoes his own. he tells
me that it's tradition to hang up a horse shoe that had been used and
found. i guess the iron needs to have been worked and used in order
for the metal to do it's work. he also included 2 nails and a legend
about the horse shoe. in this legend the devil hears the sound of the
blacksmith and decides to get his own self shod. he goes to the
blacksmith, who realizes who the customer is, but he agrees to shoe the
devil. he shoes him with the red hot shoes and drives the nails in
deep. the devil pays the blacksmith who then in turns burns the money
knowing that it can come to no good and went about his day. but the
devil found the shoes to be hurtful then painful and tried and tried to
remove the shoes. finally he pulled them from his feet and throw them
far away. and devil has been avoiding horseshoes every since.
now i don't really believe in the "devil" but i do believe that i can
use as much luck as i can. so i hung up the horse shoe above my door.

last night i brought in the new year in a different way that i have in
the past. doing nothing. well...not nothing. i went over to brads
house and hung out with him and the kids for a while . we shot off
fireworks and then after the kids went to bed i came home and watched a
"entourage" marathon until 12 and then went to bed.

today went to mike and dollies annual new year brunch. drank some
mimosa's chatted with people then came home and cleaned my house. i
would like to send a new year shout out to those who were there who
reads my blog.

and finally for today i would like to say that i have mentioned before
that i don't go in for the new year resolutions but this year i am
going to try weight watchers. mike and dollie have been doing it for
awhile and have been successful at it. and i figured it mike can do
it (his a picky eater like me) then i can. it's 5:30 and i'm hungry.

tata for now

5 more days

christmas is coming the goose is getting fat...

please to put a penny in the old man's hat
if you haven't got a penny a ha' penny will do
if you haven't got a ha' penny then god bless you.

lalala a few more days to go and this christmas holiday will be over.

i don't know if i had mentioned before about getting in touch with an old boyfriend of mine. and that he is now a conservative catholic? much to my dismay. but anyhoo, we email back & forth and i had mentioned how much i really really dislike the commercial holiday of christmas. he wrote back and said "yes, it's become a secular holiday. i hope christians take christmas back." at that point i didn't want to start an argument with him, you know with him being a new christian and all, and email fights just ain't cool, but i felt like screaming. "TAKE IT BACK FROM WHO? WHO???" really, now think about that statement. "i hope christians take christmas back." why the hell did you give it away? it's your religion, it ain't my fault that you were more used to being greedy then self-less. it ain't my fault that the air is very thin up there on your high horse and you lost site of what you own holiday was about.
but instead of boycotting stores that can't say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" because the "general christians" think everything needs to be about them. screw the fact that there are lots of people out there who don't follow christianity of believe in it. the "general christians" should keep their ass home and start teaching their children what the "general christians" have been proselytizing about for century's. celebrating the birth of your "savior" who came to give you everlasting life if you believe in him. who preached giving your all to the ones who are broken and damaged and who don't deserve it or have lost the faith. not standing in line with your child for 2 days outside target to get the new "playstation 3" before anyone else in your friend circle gets it.
personally, you can have christmas back. i'll take celebrating the winter solstice instead. you know about the winter solstice don't you??? it's the original christmas. when the christians started taking over the world they needed to stop the pagans from celebrating the changes of the season but didn't know who to do it. so they came up with the brilliant idea of creating christian holidays near pagan holidays. and it worked. pagans love a celebration and food and didn't have a problem with calling their celebration by another name. you see what i have found with pagans is is that they don't have a problem with "naming" things. a name doesn't always define something. maybe it came from hiding their beliefs for centuries.

o.k i'm done for now. but remember "JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEA...UH HOLIDAY" jesus didn't create the seasons. his father did. or mother. whichever.
if you are a christian and would like to take christmas back then stay out of the stores and off the roads and take the money that you would spend on your spoiled children and give to the poor and sick. and teach your children the true meaning of christmas. giving out of love to others in need. or just shut up.

falalalala la la la la!

27 days and counting until a new year. i love the beginning of years. that and my birthday is the 21st day of the new year.
thanksgiving is over, the entire month of in your face christmas is over. the big day of christmas is over and then it's full steam ahead into a new year. i feel like it's a new beginning. that the new year can erase the bad of the last.
however, i don't make resolutions and i don't eat certain foods to bring prosperity for the new year. but more on that closer to time

but the new year isn't here yet so i can look forward to parties, gatherings, food and drink. and the quick loss of money. oh yeah and that long awaited week off from work.

what's new?

well let's see. it's been a while since i checked in. i told ya that
i had problems with journals. but anyway here's a brief recap.

the dems took back the house and senate. woo hoo. they can't do any
worse than what the gop did. at least with the dems, if anyone gets
caught with with their pants down.....you'll be expecting it.

and we have our first woman speaker of the house. GO NANCY.

and our first muslim representative. GO KEITH.

and then bush shoved rumsfeld under the bus. (which is a shocker
because we all believe bush when he says he thinks we are doing a good
job and we be kept around until the end of his term) i believe the
next one will be mr. rove. it's just a matter of time.

o.j simpson has written a book about "if i did it". what a stupid
man. you did it o.j. 'nuff said.

if alcohol problems wasn't enough to take the heat off of foley and
his wicked ways now his father has died. i wonder who he will be
seeking to help him through the grieving process. i just hope it's
someone older that 18.

the rev. ted haggard got caught with his pants down...literally, when
his "boy toy" told the press that he had been having sex with the
evangelical "holier than thou" preacher for 3 years and that the good
reverend was also a meth user. hee hee. i loved that one.

tomkat are finally married...or are they?

still waiting for john mccain to kill himself. tsk tsk senator. you
shouldn't make promises that you can't keep.

the controversial film "borat" is turning out to be a hit. it seems
that people love a good "slap in the face" movie. for those who
understand that it's a slap in the face movie, that is. apparently
some don't. like an entire country?

and finally-bush is just LAME

now an update on me

i just bought a couch. a couch just like my friends mike and dollie.
but in purple. i love it.

i was recently in a play called "godspell" i was in this same show
back in '89. it was fun and the cast was filled with 20 year olds.
but they never made me feel old. they also acted more mature then
some of the cast of "sordid lives" that i did back in july. "godspell"
turned out to be good even though 5 of the cast members only had 5
days to rehearse.

got back in touch with my first boyfriend. there will always be a
place in my heart for bill. but it turns out that he is now a very
conservative republican and a new catholic. pro-everything. so we
don't have that much in common anymore. but it's good to know what he
is doing and that he is happy. however, it's a good thing that the
goddess had other plans for me. i could have ended up in minnesota
and conservative and catholic....yeah right . there ain't no way in
hell that i would live in the north.

boyfriend brad just became a proud land owner of a 25 acre ditch...or
holler' whichever word floats your boat. now he is thinking about
using shipping containers to build a house with. the man's crazy but
i love him.

i think that's it for now. until next time

peace

why?

i know that it's been a long time. my soap box feelings don't last a long time. but with so much stife and war and death and the hopes that the GOP looses control on tuesday this is the only subject that i can vent about.

why prince, why? you are putting yourself up there with the ranks of celine dion and barry manilow. it makes me loose a little respect for you. i feel you are too good to be playing vegas. but if i was in vegas and had $125 to spare after i have seen a cirque de soleil show i wonder if i would go against my convictions to come see your show....yeah probably and that makes me sad.

great googamooga

you know. there is so much i that see and hear that is going on in the world today that i would like to comment on. but i suffer from over exposure. there is to much fucked up information that i am having a problem processing it all. maybe that is the reason that i was never able to keep a journal. there was always too much information that i couldn't focus on 1 thing.
here is what's going on lately
children dying because of cowardly men who can't just kill themselves instead of others.
politicians sending IM's to young boys. and that's just a snowflake on the tip of the ice burg when it comes to politicians and the crimes that they commit every single freaking day.
no one taking responsibility for all the deaths in iraq or the knowledge of al qaeda. you know i would respect you more condaleeeeeeza if you would just admit that you knew before 9/11. rumsfeld is an idiot. bush is a stupid excuse for a human and foley just needs his dick cut off. frist needs to be injected with an experimental drug, just so we can see what it will do to him. christians refuse to believe that there could be other religions besides them who might be right. you know my father used to say that the baptist will be surprised when they get to heaven and find out that it's not only baptist up there. i like to think that the same can apply to other religions. well those that believe in a heaven. and i could go on and on.

there is a song by THE TEMPTATIONS that after 30 years still apply to the world today. a lot of really good songs are like that. they become a timeless vision of humanity. i think that's how you can tell good songs from great songs. good songs last for a while. they have good structure but are written out of shallowness. great songs on the other hand can last forever because the soul of the song is universal. the writer of the song was locked into that universal soul and pulled out a great song. great googamooga, can't you hear me talking to you.

BALL OF CONFUSION

1, 2... 1, 2, 3, 4, Ow!
People moving out, people moving in. Why, because of the color of their skin.
Run, run, run but you sure can't hide. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Vote for me and I'll set you free. Rap on, brother, rap on.
Well, the only person talking about love thy brother is the...(preacher.)
And it seems nobody's interested in learning but the...(teacher.)
Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration, Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation.
Ball of confusion. Oh yeah, that's what the world is today. Woo, hey, hey.
The sale of pills are at an all time high.
Young folks walking round with their heads in the sky.
The cities ablaze in the summer time.
And oh, the beat goes on.
Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul.
Shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon.
Politicians say more taxes will solve everything.
And the band played on.
So, round and around and around we go.
Oh, great GoogaMooga, can't you hear me talking to you.
Just a ball of confusion.
Oh yeah, that's what the world is today.
Woo, hey, hey.
Fear in the air, tension everywhere.
Unemployment rising fast, the Beatles new record's a gas.
And the only safe place to live is on an Indian reservation.
And the band played on.
Eve of destruction, tax deduction, city inspectors, bill collectors,
Mod clothes in demand, population out of hand, suicide, too many bills,
Hippies moving to the hills. People all over the world are shouting, 'End the war.'
And the band played on.
Great GoogaMooga, can't you hear me talking to you.
Sayin'... ball of confusion.
That's what the world is today, hey, hey.
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya.
Sayin'... ball of confusion.
That's what the world is today, hey, hey.
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya.
Sayin'... ball of confusion.

---

i went camping last weekend with our girl scout troop. it was a nice camp with cool stuff to do and we had great weather. and all in all the girls were great. now granted they are 5th graders and that comes with it's own set of issues but were well behaved over all. we did archery (which i found out that i loved) i could have done that all day. then we went onto tree climbing. now this isn't tree climbing like you would think. they don't show you how to climb trees, which i might have been able to do. oh no. they have rope hanging off tree limbs with many configurations of knots and you have to pull yourself up. the girls were like monkey. me as their leader was a dead weight. there wasn't a moment where i got off the ground. and the harness and ropes were painful. and it's not easy pulling 180 lbs with no upper body strength. so i conceded to the tree and got off. but i tried. i think i'll stick with the bow and arrows. now also at this camp there is a swinging bridge. and the only way to get to the camp without a 5 mile hike on the road was over the swinging bridge. once going and once coming back. i hated the swinging bridge. i've never like swinging bridges. too much creaking and swaying and too much of a drop. i can't cross it with other people. i'm close to a break down when i cross it. all i can do is focus on the other side and pray that i don't freeze up. my mantra was "one foot at a time". i told the leader that if i came back to that camp that i would NEVER cross that bridge again.


comments about the corporate world
sometimes "control freaks" really really get on my fucking nerves. always right, everybody else is wrong, and heaven forbid that they would let you come up with anything on your own or do anything on your own because you know that there will be a comment about it not being right. and then on top of it all they wonder aloud in a victimized voice to other people why they have to deal with everything. i would like to say in a very loud voice " BECAUSE IT'S YOU OWN FAULT". if you weren't so consumed in having your way and not trusting that someone else may be more efficient than you or have a different way of looking at things you wouldn't have to do everything. but since you don't most people will let you do it yourself to make sure it's done to your satisfaction.
and what i really hate is when they try to control what i do or what i have been doing for several years and they are not my manager. now i will say that when it comes to what i do every single freaking day for 7 freaking years that yeah i can be a little controlling but you know what, it's ran smoothly for that many years and i don't like other people who have no idea about what i do telling me what i should do.
these are also the people with no sense of humor.
right now they can just "BITE ME"

alrighty...i'm done venting.

---

awhile back i had mentioned that the bushman was in nashville to lend his presidential support to the republican senate candidate bob "i'm a big chicken" corker. weeellllll. mr. i'm a big chicken has declined a debate with harold "i'm a big hottie" ford, jr.
on national tv people.
on 'MEET THE PRESS' .
and the "big chicken" said NO

Corker Rejects Debate With Ford On "Meet The Press"
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:55:42 PM

GOP Senate candidate Bob Corker has rejected appearing on NBC TV's "Meet the Press" to debate his Democratic opponent U.S. Representative Harold Ford Jr.

The show's executive producer told the Chattanooga Times Free Press that they had hoped to get a debate scheduled.

Corker's staff didn't offer a reason for declining.

Ford called it a missed opportunity and said he's said yes to every single debate.

Corker campaign manager Ben Mitchell said Corker has agreed to three debates between the candidates inside Tennessee.

now, i ask you, why would someone who is running for the US Senate NOT go onto national tv and debate their enemy..(cough) uhh opponent? why? if you don't have the balls to debate your opponent on national tv then you don't have the balls for the job of US Senator. and that's one thing we are lacking right now is balls. lots of dicks but no balls.

apparently this isn't the first time that mr. i'm a big chicken has declined a debate. in december he boycotted a scheduled US senate debate in memphis against fellow republicans to be held in january.

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did anyone really expect to see and hear the truth from a documentary on ABC??? once again people are shocked i tell you about what they are seeing and hearing about THE PATH TO 9/11 docudrama.
on ABC remember. what has ABC put out in the last oh so many decades? oh wait a minute...they are the ones that do Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. ok well i like that one.

politicans are screaming, american airlines is jumping to legal actions. now granted the fact that ABC started advertising this as a factual based documentary was just plain wrong in the first place. but i blame only you if you believed it. it's ABC. and i guess i shouldn't be shocked that the people who would believe it or like to believe it are the same people who voted for the anti-christ's first cousin aka bush. there are so many signs out there that we as a nation are fucked, and the conservative right using ABC as the platform to show their delusional side of the facts is just another brick in the wall. and no i didn't watch it. and no i'm not even going to comment on the content. it's ABC people. i have HBO. and i was watching the FANTASTIC FOUR. and besides the fact that i have seen countless documentaries and shows about 9/11. i've read some of the 9/11 commision reports. and i don't need to go seeking for more information about a horrible day in american history, that i do believe the administration knew would happen, on AB-freaking C.

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go humanity

i think that this civilization we are a part of is going to hell in a hand basket. i don't know if it's that i am getting older and understanding more the consequences of choices made by goverment officals or if we as a world are really falling apart at the seems.

i knew that when bush was elected the first time that he would take us straight into a war. and i was right. i also felt that him being in office was going to be a very very bad thing. i was so upset by the thought that so many couldn't or wouldn't see through his bullish, smarmy, salesmany ways and just plain evil aura that i came to the conclusion that we were born into this life as an american to help destroy the nation. i also stopped watching him on tv. at the time in the very beginning i saw him as the anti-christ, and by watching him on tv his evil spirit would seep through and try to attach itself to my spirit. but 100 years have past and he is still the president and now i think of him only as the 1st cousin to the anti-christ. he alone doesn't seem smart enough to be what my idea of the anti-christ is. he now appears to be a spoiled child in a man's body who has the power to blow us the hell up. he is the bully of the 21st century. everybody hates us as a country and he helped perpetuate that hate. we as a people are hated by association. and the sad thing is if something did happen to him whether from sickness, death or impeachment we are stuck with another 1st cousin. at this time i don't know the lesser of the 2 evils. i just feel that the next 3 years are going to be the longest 3 years in american history. whether you agree with me or not. it will be bad. and i still don't watch him on tv.

but i will say this. even though all i can see is doom and gloom as a nation i know that because of this we will see humanity at it's best. humans in general have a way of falling back into the instinctual behavior of caring and compassion. we saw it on 9/11 we saw it during the devastation of katrina we see it when another stands up to the bully and demands answers and calls the bully out on his bs, we see it in other countries where even though there has been fighting for decades, these people still show love to others who they have been fighting against. sometimes they are called dissidents, unpatriotic and traitors against their country. but whatever the label, i feel that when forgiveness, compassion and love are the reason behind any action they supersede any action based on religion or country or creed or race.

GO HUMANITY.

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sunday again. it's 8 am i just got back from a walk around my
neighborhood. it's great in the morning. no one is out and the dogs
are quite. and i live in a quiet rural area so there is a lot of land
and animals to look at instead of cookie cutter houses. there is none
of that here. most of these houses were built in the 70's with unique
characteristics. there is also the hint of fall in the air. since i
have grown up entirely in the south i can't say if other places have
that distinct smell of fall in the air. but in the south you do. and
it has a smell of death and decay but not in a bad way. trees and
plants and flowers are dying and the temperature is falling with a
small hint of a chill. we get the see the circle of nature going into
winter. it's time to harvest and set up for winter cause it will be
here soon. i love fall. it's my favorite season. spring would be
next. after the dreariness of winter spring starts to bring out the
color of nature all pastelly and light and fall shows all the colors of
passing with bright reds, oranges, yellows and browns.

do you remember about a year ago when tom cruise made a comment about
brooke shields taking drugs for postpartum depression? he said that
she was misguided and that there was no science behind emotional and
chemical imbalances and that it's dangerous to be taking paxil.
because of course he knows what he is talking about. that she should
take vitamins instead to help her with her problem. he also mentioned
that her career was over. i don't know what the 2 have to do with
each other. i do think there is some truth in using vitamins to set
the body back on track after giving birth but i've never had a child so
i don't know what goes on with all the hormones in a woman's body after
birth. however, i've been a woman all my life and have experienced
decades of periods and hormone ups and downs and wanting to rip the
head of many people because my emotions were out of control and drugs
would have been a welcome comfort from the maelstrom raging inside me.
so if brooke shields needed drugs to get past her problem then good for
her. but tom acted like he knew better about what goes on inside a
woman's body. when i first heard about his comments my first reaction
was "until tom cruise grows a vagina he should keep his mouth shut" i
feel that way about any man who thinks he knows what goes on inside a
woman's body.
well tom has FINALLY apologized.
a year later he says he is sorry. and brooke, being the seemingly well
adjusted person possibly because of the use of paxil, accepted his
apology. i wonder who else he will be apologizing to since his career
is plummeting down because of his crazy antics. maybe he needs to
spend more time getting his brain re-circuited or whatever the
scientology people do to make them better people because something has
failed in his main frame and he is losing his status as the golden boy.
i used to really like tom cruise but now i just see him as a short man
with a napoleon complex who is trying really hard to be the "alpha" of
the pact when he has "beta" written in his genetic code.

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wakey wakey eggs and bakey

hello all
well i got my new phone, isn't it cute. even though it cost me a few more bucks to get the razr in pink. why does a paint job cost more money? cause we are suckers for color. i haven't had a lot of time to mess with it. but i have taken pictures and video and have entered phone numbers and taken a pic of my boyfriend so when he calls his picture will show up in the little screen on the cover. i also like that the numbers are bigger. this phone is set up for other types of communication so the bigger numbers help out a lot. i don't plan on using this phone for other forms of communication. i communicate with everyone i know using the basic forms like telephone and email. if i'm not near any of those, communicaton can wait. i wanted it so i could take pictures and video and be able to talk on the phone using the speakerphone. even though i can appreciate technology i still prefer talking to someone face to face or voice to voice. call me old fashion but that's the way i role.



"survivor" still has everyone in a tizzy. GM pulled their sponsership from the show, but says it "had nothing to do with the show's recent announcement that it was arranging its teams based on contestants' race and ethnicity." and i kind of believe it. but the show has found a new sponser to replace GM but wont tell who. the more controversy about the show the more i can't wait to see it. imagine...you are put into a team where everyone with you is the same race. your choices of how you decide to vote out someone has been narrowed by the fact that you can't vote someone out based on their race (consciously or subconsciously) because whether we want to admit it or not no one is color blind unless their blind. we see color. we experience color through culture. it's how we deal with that person that's makes the difference in being racist or not. anyhoo, so these people can't use the "race" card. they will have to make their decisions based on something else. fun fun fun. but i think the tension and the fighting will be the same. i don't remember seeing a lot of racisim to begin with in the show. of course they could have edited it out but i doubt it.


i heard that president bush was in nashville yesterday to help "sell" Republican U.S. Senate candidate Bob Corker. but from what i can tell it was upstaged by a murder/suicide in murfreesboro. just another example of the death and destruction following in his wake.

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busy busy busy

i've been cutting checks left and right. so much money so many invoices to pay. and i pay them all. i cut the check i stuff the check and it all happens at the very end or very beginning of the month. oh well, it's a job. it could be worse. however, when people see that's it's check cutting time someone will always say "hey why don't you cut me one" and i reply "stand in line" or "i've heard that one before" but if you really think about it i couldn't cut someone a check without someone finding out quickly. we have a lot of checks and balances in place to avoid this. and i have a controller who is a micro-manager and looks at EVERYTHING. but anyhoo, i'm done with cutting most of the checks, i have several to do today and then stuff them and then blah blah blah. but don't think i haven't thought about how to cut myself a check and be out of the country before anyone found out.

monday is labor day, and the sweat shop that i work at they let us take that day of with pay. so i've decided to take friday off in order to have a long weekend. maybe i might have more to say tomorrow. especially if my new pink RAZR phone shows up today.

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x rated mermaids

so what is it with the offensiveness of breast? don't we all have them? even though women's happen to be bigger than men's and can also be used for nurishment for babys. why then is there so much uproar over this body part? i wonder who had the final say in this exposing no-no? the symbol and city crest of warsaw,shown here had to be changed because it was judged as too erotic for the "miss universe" pagent. too erotic...too erotic??? come on people, are you telling me that women parading around in a very skimpy bathing suit and being judged on their body in the skimpy bathing suit with their breast taped up show more cleavage isn't exposing their body and can by some (men) be considered erotic? ex: Sports Illustrated. doesn't any pagent promote confidence in women's bodies? at least this mermaid has her lower regions covered up. the contestants of the "miss universe" pagent are showing a whole bunch more skin than the warrior mermaid is. we so need to get over ourselves.


poor poor katherine harris-. it's a little too late to back peddle from your comments about- "the separation of church and state being "a lie" and God and the nation's founding fathers did not intend the country be "a nation of secular laws." The Republican candidate for U.S. Senate also said that if Christians are not elected, politicians will "legislate sin," including abortion and gay marriage." her back peddle was that she was "speaking to a Christian audience, addressing a common misperception that people of faith should not be actively involved in government."

and what does that have to do with the price of eggs in china? does this mean that if you are not of the christian faith you shouldn't even entertain the idea of running for office because your religion promotes immoral behavior? that the christian religion is the only true religion and all will follow or perish? isn't there enough deaths and war happening right now based on this ideology? hind sight isn't working for ms harris.

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