when i was young

the days

the days go by she lays alone
in solitude in a corner of the room
the howling wind like the stormy sea
soak through the cracks in the door
midnight came she heard no more


i found this poem the other day. i wrote this when i was in 4th or 5th grade.  as a 40 year old i find this poem and others from that time frame to be very melancholy. i did read a lot of poe, mythology and arthurian legends before and during high school. maybe that had something to do with my state of mind.   as a young child and into my early 20's i was not a happy camper.  i felt that i didn't fit in with my environment and that GOD had made a mistake in bringing me into this time period. (already with the metaphysical beliefs)  however, i do need to mention that i didn't have a bad family life.    i just didn't fit.   i remember when i was 6 or 7 i asked my parents what an identity crisis was, which i may add, didn't give me the answer i was looking for.  my mother asked jokingly "why? do you not know who you are?" duh of course not.    i remember playing it off as something i heard on the tv and let the issue drop.   i wasn't going to find out the answer from them.  it look me until college to find out those answers.

i'm sure some of you who know me wont find it odd that most of my poetry involves death or dying or human issues.  however, the ones who know me might find it odd that i wrote poetry since there are but a few who have ever read them. in 5th grade i won most honorable mention in a poetry contest that an organization in the county sponsored.  it was about sunrise's and not about death.  i was playing up to the masses. 

i haven't written anything in a long time.  i realize now that for me to write i need to be in a state of depression or really focused and passionate about something.   that's when i get the good stuff out. a catharsis if you will.

so i have decided to start putting some of my poetry on my blog. not so much for others to read but to let them go.

peace out

what is that wet stuff?

something happened here in the south that hasn't happened in a long time. we have been waiting for it. we have been praying for it. we were beginning to wonder if we would ever see it again.

today a work, the clouds became dark and the air was heavy to breath, then the clouds opened up with rumbles and flashes and it began to RAIN. rain has become such a rarity down here in the barren south that when the wet stuff dropped people were outside watching it, the ones not on the outside were in front of the windows in wonder at it. usually that's what happens when there is a tornado or hail storm but not today. today as a collective were watching it rain.

simple rain.

what's in bloom

here are 2 flowers that are in bloom at my house right now.
these are primrose's. a friend of mine at work gave me these last year. since they didn't come up last year i thought that they had died out. but this year i saw them growing and thought that they might be weeds. cause i have a hard time remembering where i planted what. but i didn't pull them up because a little voice in my head said "stop" you planted something there.














********* these are nicatania's. these came from bf brad several years ago. this is the first year that i didn't have to start them from seed. they bloom all year long and smell wonderful.


well my bff has left for france for the summer. i know that she will have great time and i will miss her very much. our friend di set her up with a blog. "cathead a la boheme" and i've added the link to my favorites.